One Woman's Response to Street Harassment

For fans of the "Missed Connections" genre on Craig's List, this gem:

The blonde you shouted at - w4m - 27 (American Blvd/34th Ave)

The scene: 4:30 pm Friday, intersection at American Blvd and 34th Avenue.

You: Middle-aged, dark hair, tan skin, driving a green SUV * * * 

Me: 20s, blonde hair, black fitted dress, gladiator sandals and waiting at the intersection to catch the lightrail. * * * 

So, that's where we were. Me, minding my own business. You, apparently observing my ass. At that point you had options. You could have driven past me and said nothing. You could have turned up your radio and waved, ensconcing us in some beats and camaraderie. You could have shouted out, "Happy Friday! Yeehaw!" Any of those options would have been great. I probably would have waved, smiled, and started my weekend on the same high note as you.

Instead, you chose the most pathetic option available to you: You leaned out of your window and made some ridiculous series of leering comments about whether I was wearing a thong, right as the light changed and you peeled off, pleased with yourself and saved from any consequences. * * * 

Let me make this abundantly clear, to you and to the other men reading this: when you comment on a woman's appearance, you are not doing it for her. You are doing it for you. It's not some great way to make a woman feel sexy and appreciated. It's not flattery, even if you mean for it to be. The only thing it is is a great way for you to create a shitty power dynamic, by which you have announced yourself as the arbiter of her value, and you've deemed her fuckable, and she is supposed to be happy or impressed by that. 

If you really find a woman beautiful, don't choose the juvenile selfish route that makes her feel weird and you look like an asshole. Just take a deep breath, commit the image to memory, and get on with your life. Or, if it's really that great of an ass that you can't possibly survive without commenting on it, post about it on CL missed connections after the fact and let her decide what to do about it. 

Read the full post here.

My favorite line? "Just take a deep breath, commit the image to memory, and get on with your life." 

 

Comments

[Ann Tweedy]

Thanks--I found reading this empowering.