More Entertaining Dean Searches

As we're obviously mid-dean-season at the moment judging by the amount of announcements that are being made, I was wondering if there isn't some way to make dean searches more entertaining.  I mean, they're all pretty rote.  Airport interiews, finalists announced, campus visits, Provost/President makes announcement etc.  So I went back to my perennial favorite - reality TV shows - to see if it might be possible to spice things up.  Just consider the possibilities...

The Apprentice:  "Professor X, you're obviously too well adjusted and too much of a people person to deal with this faculty.  You're fired!"

America's Next Top Model:  "Two beautiful dean search candidates stand before me, but I only have one dean contract in my hands..."

Project Runway:  "In deaning you're either in or you're out..."

Survivor:  "Your next task is to replace the faculty most of whom were just eaten by giant alligators..."

The Amazing Race:  "I didn't know I'd have to drive a stick shift to be a dean!"

I'm sure there are endless variations....

Comments

[1styrprof]

I'm so glad to know that another law prof shares my affinity for reality tv. :) I vote for an America's Next Top Model style dean search - that made me laugh out loud.

[Tim Zinnecker]

Perhaps part of the interview process should be a mock "cold call" on a successful alum.

"So you want me to donate a considerable sum of money to your law school. Tell me why. You've got a minute -- to win it."

[DeanWannaBe]

I have been in dean searches this year, and my family decided that they should be run like Top Chef.

Quickfire Challenge: You get a call at 2 am saying that a pipe froze and burst during the night, flooding the law school library and a classroom. Get the building ready for 8 am classes.

Elimination Challenge: Eliminate a seven figure operating deficit without cutting any department's budget, and still giving everyone a 3% raise.

At the end, the chair of the search committee tells the eliminated dean candidate, "Please pack your laptop and go."

[Kelly Anders]

In honor of Valentine's Day, we can also include "Rock of Love" to the mix: "You candidates all really rock, but I only have a limited number of back-stage passes to go around."

[EnjoyingThisTooMuch]

If this were a vote, I confess I would absolutely vote for DeanWannaBe's brilliant entry. But since it isn't, allow me to add one more: "Whose vision is on the block? (lift the lid). I'm sorry Prof. So and So, you've been chopped."

[Black Bird]

I think dean searches should be run like HGTV's Design Star.

Make over this law school with a $500 credit from Walmart in either 'hip mod', 'cozy cottage' or 'early institutional'.

At the end of the search Clive gets to tell the candidates "Your show has been cancelled"!

[EnjoyingThisTooMuch]

Ah - a fellow Design Star fan. But given the budget cuts, it might be more like "Take this school and cut 15% of the budget while also adding professional skills training, clinical programs and expanded library collections. For those who fail, his message would be "your school's AALS accreditation has been cancelled."

[Black Bird]

Easier than changing a light fixture (AALS, so old school):

Candidate: Simple - "offer a virtual law school with an on-line collection and expanded externships. In fact, I've developed an app for that!"

Provost: Eligibility for Title IV Funding?

Winning Candidate: Ah good one--distance ed accrediting. We'll pair with a bricks and mortar program offering an MJ degree so our graduates can take the bar in D.C.

Ding, Ding, Ding!!! We have a winner -- Your own show (of course that's the inherent problem with winning this thing)