As we're obviously mid-dean-season at the moment judging by the amount of announcements that are being made, I was wondering if there isn't some way to make dean searches more entertaining. I mean, they're all pretty rote. Airport interiews, finalists announced, campus visits, Provost/President makes announcement etc. So I went back to my perennial favorite - reality TV shows - to see if it might be possible to spice things up. Just consider the possibilities...
The Apprentice: "Professor X, you're obviously too well adjusted and too much of a people person to deal with this faculty. You're fired!"
America's Next Top Model: "Two beautiful dean search candidates stand before me, but I only have one dean contract in my hands..."
Project Runway: "In deaning you're either in or you're out..."
Survivor: "Your next task is to replace the faculty most of whom were just eaten by giant alligators..."
The Amazing Race: "I didn't know I'd have to drive a stick shift to be a dean!"
I'm sure there are endless variations....
I'm so glad to know that another law prof shares my affinity for reality tv. :) I vote for an America's Next Top Model style dean search - that made me laugh out loud.
Posted by: 1styrprof | February 13, 2011 at 10:41 AM
Perhaps part of the interview process should be a mock "cold call" on a successful alum.
"So you want me to donate a considerable sum of money to your law school. Tell me why. You've got a minute -- to win it."
Posted by: Tim Zinnecker | February 13, 2011 at 12:15 PM
I have been in dean searches this year, and my family decided that they should be run like Top Chef.
Quickfire Challenge: You get a call at 2 am saying that a pipe froze and burst during the night, flooding the law school library and a classroom. Get the building ready for 8 am classes.
Elimination Challenge: Eliminate a seven figure operating deficit without cutting any department's budget, and still giving everyone a 3% raise.
At the end, the chair of the search committee tells the eliminated dean candidate, "Please pack your laptop and go."
Posted by: DeanWannaBe | February 13, 2011 at 12:18 PM
In honor of Valentine's Day, we can also include "Rock of Love" to the mix: "You candidates all really rock, but I only have a limited number of back-stage passes to go around."
Posted by: Kelly Anders | February 14, 2011 at 10:14 AM
If this were a vote, I confess I would absolutely vote for DeanWannaBe's brilliant entry. But since it isn't, allow me to add one more: "Whose vision is on the block? (lift the lid). I'm sorry Prof. So and So, you've been chopped."
Posted by: EnjoyingThisTooMuch | February 16, 2011 at 09:35 AM
I think dean searches should be run like HGTV's Design Star.
Make over this law school with a $500 credit from Walmart in either 'hip mod', 'cozy cottage' or 'early institutional'.
At the end of the search Clive gets to tell the candidates "Your show has been cancelled"!
Posted by: Black Bird | February 16, 2011 at 06:20 PM
Ah - a fellow Design Star fan. But given the budget cuts, it might be more like "Take this school and cut 15% of the budget while also adding professional skills training, clinical programs and expanded library collections. For those who fail, his message would be "your school's AALS accreditation has been cancelled."
Posted by: EnjoyingThisTooMuch | February 17, 2011 at 07:44 AM
Easier than changing a light fixture (AALS, so old school):
Candidate: Simple - "offer a virtual law school with an on-line collection and expanded externships. In fact, I've developed an app for that!"
Provost: Eligibility for Title IV Funding?
Winning Candidate: Ah good one--distance ed accrediting. We'll pair with a bricks and mortar program offering an MJ degree so our graduates can take the bar in D.C.
Ding, Ding, Ding!!! We have a winner -- Your own show (of course that's the inherent problem with winning this thing)
Posted by: Black Bird | February 17, 2011 at 10:56 AM