Troubled with the tenets of your faith? Well, if you’ve got 5 minutes to answer a few questions, the Belief-O-Matic will generate a list of spiritually appealing alternatives. I took the quiz this morning and learned that I’m 100% neo-pagan.
So, what exactly is neo-paganism? According to Belief-O-Matic, we’re big on:
- Goddess Worship: there are countless spirit beings, both gods and goddesses, embodied in the whole of nature and the universe, each to be revered in their own right.
- Reincarnation: whether we want to come back is up to us; we decide whenever we want after our soul takes a rest in the afterlife.
- Hell: it’s a state of mind, not a physical place, and Satan’s about as real as Santa Clause. But spiritual pain does exist, both now and in the after life, as a result of bad decisions we make when we forget that we’re one with the universe.
- Hot-button issues: our views on abortion, homosexuality, divorce, and sex equality favor human difference, equality and personal choice.
Sounds about right.
If I tire of worshiping the goddess, Belief-O-Matic gave me plenty of alternatives to choose from, conveniently ranked in descending order. New Age placed second (97% compatible), which makes sense given my world-class Yanni collection, followed by Unitarian Universalism (94%), Liberal Quakerism (86%) and Taoism (79%). I confess to not knowing much about these traditions, but I do know for sure that my Roman-Catholic grandparents are rolling in their graves. And wait until my mother hears about this. She’s got a 46 inch tall crucifix hanging in the hallway and a picture of the Sacred Heart inside the liquor cabinet. (Don’t ask). And just yesterday I opened her Valentine’s Day card which said that the Marianist priests are praying for me at a special holiday mass.
She's the best.
But according to the quiz, I couldn’t be less Roman Catholic if I tried. Well, apparently I'm less Jehovah’s Witness (16%), but that just barely nudged out Roman Catholic (20%) for last place on my spiritual compatability list.
-Kathleen Bergin
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