For a small fee, of course. Via Tyler
Cowen, two websites -- Eternal Earth-Bound
Pets, USA and JesusPets
– that promise a service in which atheists who are also animal-lovers agree to
care for the pets of those taken in the
rapture.
From Eternal Earth-Bound Pets:
You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.
We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.
We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life. . . .
Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged friends.
Unfortunately at this
time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services
to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals.
From JesusPets:
If Jesus returns tonight, who will feed your pets tomorrow?
Make hard CA$H from home while the world is in flames!
Are you an animal lover; and also an atheist, agnostic, jew, muslim, or other non-Christian? If so, you might qualify for the JesusPets Partner Program!
JesusPets will pay YOU to take care of dogs, cats, and other pets. To qualify, you must agree with this statement:
The JesusPets Partner Program Statement
I love animals, and am willing to care for pets after the Christian Rapture.
I am not, and never have been a born-again Christian.
I believe it is immoral to have sex with
animals, and have no desire to do so.
I believe it is immoral to consume common
domesticated pets (note: this includes goldfish!), and have no desire to do so.
If you agree with, then please contact JesusPets to join our international community of JesusPets Partners!
As Cowen notes, JesusPets promises an important service that Eternal Earth Bound does not: namely, not to consume or have sex with your pets after you’re gone (surely such comfort is worth a premium).
Apparently other commercial enterprises are built around preparing for the rapture, for example by notifying your loved ones about what has happened to you, and sending them messages after the rapture. Law & Order fans will recall this episode on the same theme.
Sort of reminds me of our Reincarnation Bank post over the summer, which promised to help you plan for (all of) your futures, by offering safe keeping for any asset you wish to deposit until you return for it in a later life
Image Source: www.thechefinstead.ca/ house.html
Yet insofar as eschatological or apocalypitic beliefs are found in both Judaism and Islam, atheists (as well as agnostics, assuming the Rapture doesn't knock them off the fence) alone are best suited for long-term care!
Posted by: Patrick S. O'Donnell | August 25, 2009 at 06:59 PM
Silly service--the faithful and good pets get raptured, too! Sinner-puppies ought to have to fend for themselves.
Posted by: Tim LaHaye | August 25, 2009 at 07:14 PM
On second thought, there won't be agnostics or atheists around after the apocalypse!
Posted by: Patrick S. O'Donnell | August 25, 2009 at 07:25 PM
Fundamentalist Christians (and I know, I was one for 30 years) will find the assertions that eating or having sex with pets is immoral unpersuasive. These people believe that outside of fundamentalist Christianity, no one can have morals that will constrain their actions. Funny but true.
Posted by: cureholder | August 28, 2009 at 05:43 PM
Got it. And since, they are always desiring sex with animals, it follows that they think atheists have these desires as well...
Posted by: Mark | September 28, 2009 at 05:26 AM
Top 10 Signs that you are a CHRISTIAN FUNDIE
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women and children, and even trees.
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit
impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects --
will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian.
Posted by: Michael | October 15, 2009 at 06:49 PM
this is so crazy!
Posted by: pet insurance | January 07, 2010 at 12:54 PM