Many thanks to President Filler for nominating me to an open position at The Faculty Lounge. No doubt President Filler considered many remarkable candidates for this vacancy. Critics will wail that I received this appointment solely because of my diversity. Perhaps that’s true. But we Southern Baptists with law degrees from BYU have been an unrepresented minority for far too long in so many areas of life. So I’m humbled by this honor bestowed on me earlier this week by President Filler. And with my left hand on my worn copy of the UCC, I do hereby swear that I will faithfully uphold all principles held holy and sacred by the founding fathers (and mothers) of The Faculty Lounge. (Pssssst: Dan, please remind me of those principles at your earliest convenience.)
I also wish to thank those who offered “advice and consent” to President Filler on this daring and groundbreaking nomination: Laura Appleman, Kathy Bergin, Al Brophy, Kevin Maillard, and Calvin Massey. Throughout the vetting process I was treated with dignity and respect (except for comments questioning my financial prowess in purchasing Citicorp stock at $22 per share in early 2008). And while I thought a few of the inquiries on the 137-page questionnaire were irrelevant to my qualifications for this position (e.g., “Have you, or any relative within the third degree of consanguinity, ever watched a complete episode of Desperate Housewives?”; “Do you, or any neighbors living on your block, subscribe to Entertainment Weekly?”; “Do you believe that Sam Waterston will leave Law and Order in your lifetime?”; “Can you use Venn diagrams to illustrate how a cashless society will lead to anarchy?”; “Which song by ABBA would you like performed at your funeral?”; “Do you miss Jay Leno yet?”), I do appreciate the committee’s overall thoughtfulness and thoroughness.
I’m teaching two commercial law courses this summer, so my blogging may be sporadic until mid-July. But I’m excited to be back in the saddle. Thank you, again, President Filler, for extending this historic opportunity to me. On behalf of all Southern Baptists with law degrees from BYU, I express our gratitude.
Glad you're with us, Tim. Very funny post.
Posted by: Alfred | June 16, 2009 at 09:08 AM
That IS greatly funny. Welcome!
Posted by: Kevin Maillard | June 16, 2009 at 11:23 AM
Tim - how did you answer the question on Melrose Place? Are you as outdated as I am??
Posted by: Jacqui Lipton | June 16, 2009 at 02:56 PM
Jacqui, I mark a half-century of living later this summer, so I'm familiar with most shows featuring the talents of Heather Locklear (including TJ Hooker). So I had no problems with the vetting questions aimed at my knowledge of Melrose Place, The Love Boat, Petticoat Junction, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Green Acres, Combat, Twilight Zone, Underdog, Gunsmoke, and -- my favorite -- Jonny Quest.
Posted by: Tim Zinnecker | June 16, 2009 at 03:05 PM
Wow - some of those are even before MY time. You make me feel young again!
Posted by: Jacqui Lipton | June 16, 2009 at 03:28 PM